Share a Lesson From Bonner Class
3/2: All Bonner WellBeing Check In (Caring Differently)
Check In w/ Peer, Managing Up, Self Advocacy, Difficult Conversations
3/9: All Bonner Climate Migration
Share a lesson you appreciate from one of the Bonner meetings this month. How will you apply this lesson in your life?
*If you have a different class on Wednesday nights, please write about a topic you would like to see facilitated in Bonner in the future*
24 Responses
For the last two days, I’ve been thinking about Harry Styles and the magic that he is. He recently came out with a song called “As It Was” and I’ve been listening to it on repeat. I love Harry Styles and this song is amazing. I’m so excited for the new album because he always produces such masterpieces. He’s a kind soul and I love him forever.
I really enjoyed our lesson on self care. I think it’s very important to learn about the different ways you can take care of yourself and have a safe space you can vent with your peers in. I also think this presents a unique opportunity to talk to peers you may normally not open up to. Showing us the value of caring for ourselves also allows us to be able to pour from a fuller cup, and be able to be more present during our service.
The WellBeing check in was very insightful for me. I not only got to listen and be comforted with the fact that I wasn’t the only one having a hard time but got to share my experience and get feedback . It was an interesting experience having to not only actively listen to someone talk for 3 three minutes but also ask questions about their situations. The most difficult of part of the meeting was talking about myself for three minutes. Time seemed to be moving at a turtle’s pace when it was my turn to share, and I found myself stumbling over my words. This helped me realize how often I “practice” my conversation, or just things in general, in my head before I actually say them out loud.
I have a different class Wednesday night, so a topic I would like to see facilitated in Bonner is about immigration and the lives of families who have first-generation Americans in them. These realities and families make up a humongous part of the US and is an important topic to discuss given the stigma and systemic racism embedded in our society.
Although everyone on this soil is an immigrant — except for Native Americans — but the color on one’s skin is what defines them as immigrants in America. We see a Central American immigrant treated much differently than those of Europe. I’ve heard the phrase “If they decide to come, it should be legally like everyone else” one too many times, and I truly believe most of the time these comments stem for lack of information not only of the immigration process but also of the jobs immigrants fulfill, and the situation in their home countries.
Overall, it is a topic everyone in America should be knowledgeable on because immigrants are your neighbors, your cashiers, the people who plant your vegetables, professors, bosses, and your grandparents/great-grandparents.
The 3/9 training on Difficult Conversations facilitated by Michael expanded my thinking to a lot of things that we acknowledge exists but don’t give enough attention or awareness to. One lesson I appreciate from this training that I think can highlight the information that we learned from the training, and other information learned in the future, is essentially how to do social media activism. I feel like nowadays we see a lot of performative activism on social media, and that may discourage people from posting about important issues in general. However, the internet will now always be a place where people get news about global events, so it’s important to know where you’re getting information from and being aware of ways this information can be shared to others in an impactful, efficient way.
In the All Bonner WellBeing Check-In (Caring Differently), I have learned so many lessons that I will now incorporate into my daily life. I have acknowledged from the training that caring differently means something different for everyone but the first step is to reflect on one’s self. For myself, I realized that caring differently means start setting boundaries for myself and others even if I care for them. I realized that taking care of myself needs to start being a priority in my life instead of looking at it as a luxury. Caring differently in my life looks like setting boundaries for myself, setting boundaries with others, taking breaks, and letting myself say no to things. I realized that healthy boundaries are important because it allows me to prioritize myself first. During this training going into the breakout room of Self-Advocacy was beneficial because it taught me how to speak up for myself even when conversations. I will apply self-advocacy into my daily life by saying no to people when I realize I am taking on to much and also stepping down from things when my mental and physical health should be prioritized first.
I think the main takeaway I’ve had from Bonner and my site recently is letting go of what no longer serves you and welcoming positive energy and growth. We’ve talked a lot about showing up as our best selves, and for me that’s something I’ve been putting a lot of effort towards. Putting my energy and love into my site and the people around makes me feel like my best self. In general my takeaway from Bonner has been accepting growth and change with an open mind and positivity.
The 3/9 training was an extremely educational and well put together training (go Michael!!). I appreciated the integration of current events, particularly in regards to Ukraine. What I learned most about during this meeting, however, was Climate Migration. Honestly, before the meeting this was a term I was completely unfamiliar with- and it informed me about further aspects of environmental issues I hadn’t thought about. Living on Long Island- it’s scary to think that one day my home won’t exist anymore, however, I know that there are other places in the US that would be easily accessible for me to move to. Learning about the lack of legal legitimacy climate change holds in terms of emigration definitely revealed another privilege that I have as an American.
During the week of 3/2 I had lot on my mind and the wellbeing check in seemed like awful timing at the time but I truly needed it. Talking about the things on my mind helped me understand my feelings a bit better but also allow me to open up to people who I normally wouldn’t. The portion of the meeting where we were able to split into a specific training really helped me understand I don’t need to have difficult conversations if I don’t want to. I can do what’s best for my mental health even if that means respectfully telling my loved ones I can’t have a particular discussion. I think having such a small group for the difficult discussion portion really helped me dive into core issues and help me put myself first instead which is something I should always apply in my life but seem not to.
For the well-being check-in, an important thing I learned was about self-advocacy because that is something I personally struggled with. I really liked how we got to split into different groups and have an option of issues we are personally struggling with. I wasn’t able to fully talk about my own experience with self-advocacy, I still got to hear other people talk about their experiences and relate them in a way that can help me overcome my issue.
After the 3/2 well-being check-in meeting, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. When it comes to sharing I usually struggle with talking through what is going on in my head because I tend to deal with things my own way. This meeting made me go out of my comfort zone in a good way. I was able to further reflect on this semester in a healthy way. On the other hand, I pride myself on my listening skills which was the easy part of this exercise, I understand that sometimes a person just wants to talk through their feelings. The fact that we got this time to talk about ourselves and our experiences this semester made me feel that we are supported and always have a friend to talk to and listen to. The skills practiced during this meeting will definitely be something I plan on improving in my day-to-day life. Furthermore, I understood that having difficult conversations benefits all parties involved; therefore, I plan on practicing having difficult conversations in my life because most of the time having these conversations will lead to solutions.
There were several great lessons that I took from the wellbeing check-in meeting. Usually, when midterms come around, students are feeling stressed and overwhelmed. These feelings can be challenging to cope with, especially if there is no one around who has the skills to listen and help. Through this training, I learned more about the importance of these kinds of skills. It can be easy for people to provide advice because often we want to fix the challenges that the people we love are facing. Sometimes this is not what other people need, though. This meeting provided an opportunity for us to practice these skills. I was surprised to realize how hard it is to say nothing and just listen. Most often, my reaction is to try to fix the situation, but this is not usually what people need. It can be more helpful just to know that someone understands and is there for you. This is a lesson that can be applied to any kind of relationship that I form throughout my life.
At the 3/2 Wellbeing Check-in Meeting, what really stood out to me was learning about how to care differently and also how important self-advocacy is. It’s hard to learn how to take care of yourself when you tend to care a lot about others but learning how to balance both is really important. I think I learned that I want to be able to continue to be there for others but know when I need to take a step back and focus on myself. I have to work on putting my oxygen mask on first before I put it on others because you can’t help others if you can’t help yourself first. That’s a big lesson that I learned from this meeting and I really do plan on trying to work on incorporating it into my life.
During the Caring Differently Training on 3/2, I appreciated the lessons about caring for ourselves and others, and how that can be different for everyone. The activity made me realize that we are all going through our own personal struggles every day and that even though those may feel different, we can still be there for each other. Although it was hard to talk about myself at first, having the time to talk for 3 minutes did make me feel better. I appreciated the acknowledgment about the ways we care for each other being different and that although it may be challenging, we can’t fully be there for others if we aren’t there for ourselves. As a Bonner, we are taught how to go out into the community and serve our surrounding neighbors and peers, so I think this lesson on caring for not just those people, but also bringing that caring energy back onto ourselves I will reflect on more day to day.
Talking during the wellness self check-in reminded me of how everyone is always dealing with both good and bad things in their life constantly, but we all are able to rely on both ourselves and our friends around us to find ways to get through those busy or hard times.
I would like to see a Bonner meeting on the spike in violence against AAPI since COVID began and the Black Lives Matter movement and where we are now. I don’t know if this has been touched on last school year during the pandemic at the height of these events since I wasn’t at Siena then, but the legacy of both topics is a different thing to be acknowledged. I think both are very crucial topics in modern day society that still need to be processed, talked about, and addressed with action plans. We should reexplore how we can as social justice minded students and humans of empathy continue to support POC through this time and continue to advance their cause in 2022 with effective allyship.
During the Caring differently meeting, I really liked the Quaker-style conversation we had. I think this showed me that I need to listen more rather than providing an answer just to respond. Even though this activity is something that we have done before. I feel it is important to continue to incorporate this type of conversation into Bonner meetings every year. The lesson that I took from this and plan to implement into my life would be to actively listen to others while they’re speaking. This is something that will not only benefit me in my personal life but also my professional life.
I learned about listening during the WellBeing Check in meeting on 3/2. We did an activity that forced us to sit and listen for three minutes straight and it was really beneficial. We got to listen to our friends talk about their life without trying to offer advice or ask questions. This was important because it taught us to actually listen without thinking of a response. This also allowed us to get closer with our peers by talking to each other and listening to each other. Overall, I will use these strategies we learned when having difficult conversations or checking in with friends. This meeting was very beneficial and taught us a lot about listening and talking to others and the importance of it!
I would like to see a training on Adverse Childhood Experiences. While all of us aren’t working with youth at our sites and may not ever in our careers, it impacts adolescence and adulthood. It would also deviate in a good way from the trainings that we normally hold. Most of the trainings we’ve had recently I feel like aren’t that distinct from one another, but this would be one we’ve never had before.
I agree with this! I took an ACEs online training for my site and all of that information felt really important to know for working with children, but for others outside of that experience to know also! Especially those with young kids in their families, people who work with children or whose future careers might involve that, or just to be aware of the trauma and hardships that many people grow up facing which learning about could help us be more compassionate individuals and servers to our community!
From our recent meeting on 3/2, the wellbeing check-in one of the lessons I learned was about caring differently. This stood out to me because it was something I had never heard about before and I think it is something that has helped me. Caring differently is in a way how I show up for others and knowing that it is okay to care for someone in a way that might not seem traditional. I have taken this with me into my own life by knowing that it is okay to put myself first and that I can still care about the people in my life and be there for them. It might just be in a different way than I had before. Also, I participated in the advocacy group and this was helpful in being able to learn skills for how to advocate for myself and that the steps can be simple and not done all at once. I am still working on taking this into my own life, I think I need to work on the difficult conversations side a little more, but just taking it one step at a time.
I think one lesson I learned from a recent Bonner meeting is quiet listening, which came from last week’s Difficult Conversations training. I think oftentimes we are expected to be active listeners, holding onto every word that someone tells us and reacting quickly with questions or advice. Sometimes though, the best thing we can do is just let someone talk out their problems for a period of time and simply be a listening ear. Of course, it is important to remember self-care, which may mean ensuring that you are in the right headspace to listen to somebody else’s grievances. In the Difficult Conversations training, we had to talk for a full three minutes, uninterrupted, and it really did allow me to dive into a deeper state of self-awareness. I think the lessons I learned from this training will be beneficial going forward.
In the future, a topic I would like to see a Bonner meeting about is cultural competence in the workplace. Although we do many great trainings regarding diversity, such as the Breaking the Chains training, I think it would also be beneficial for us to learn how to apply these concepts in environments like our sites. We work with people of so many different backgrounds, and it is vital for us to be culturally competent in order to address their different needs. Maybe it would be helpful to show skits of different scenarios of people who have different cultural expectations, and practice how to deal with situations so they can respectful encounters. Although we may not mean to be discriminatory, in our rush we often may make assumptions or prematurely judge situations, so being aware of a person’s holistic background can smooth out interactions limit any chance for people being helped to be uncomfortable. This would be a great skill to practice and learn in Bonner, and would be very applicable to service and our careers beyond Siena!
I learned many lessons at our 3/2 wellbeing check-in. What stood out to me was our small group conversations and how hard it is to listen and repeat back what a person is saying without adding advice. As bonners, it can be hard to see people struggling with problems and not get involved. I think that is a lesson I struggle with because we can only help so much. I think I will apply this lesson in my life by listening without focusing on what my response is going to be. Another lesson I learned was in the Difficult Conversations with DK. DK helped me realize what I want to say in issues I’ve been having and how to frame my statements when I’m having these conversations. Since attending college I’ve had to have a lot of difficult conversations, but I’ve learned how to not be afraid of them. I think that difficult conversations can increase better communication and when done right can actually strengthen relationships. As bonners we sometimes suppress our needs for the benefit of others, but you can’t pour from an empty cup and you have to be able to advocate for your own needs. I really enjoyed our 3/2 meeting and I think I learned a lot about myself that I can take into future situations!
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